Re: What's the biggest mistake you've ever done in self-bond
Posted: 28 Oct 2018, 19:25
The only place you could get away with it is FetishCon. But even there I didn't do it.
Your friendly kink community!
https://www.boundforum.com/
Self-bondage can get you into legal trouble? How? Although being caught in self-bondage may be very embarrassing, I didn't think it was illegal in most countries.boundBinder wrote:Alas, the reality is, that it can get you into a LOT of trouble, legally. :(
If the maid or the hotel decided to sue, and it comes out that you deliberately set yourself up to be "caught by the maid", yes. You can get into deep, hot water, legally...hence my initial comment of, "It is a REALLY fun fantasy. I've had many fantasies along those lines, and read stories of many more", that was in response to the previous poster's final comment of, "Being found by the maid is a fun fantasy but I don't think I would want it to come true".LockedInALocker wrote:Self-bondage can get you into legal trouble? How? Although being caught in self-bondage may be very embarrassing, I didn't think it was illegal in most countries.boundBinder wrote:Alas, the reality is, that it can get you into a LOT of trouble, legally.
Regards, Michael.
Okay - I didn't quite connect it with that situation specifically (even though it had been mentioned), and took the "legal trouble" comment to be applied to self-bondage generally.boundBinder wrote:If the maid or the hotel decided to sue, and it comes out that you deliberately set yourself up to be "caught by the maid", yes. You can get into deep, hot water, legally...hence my initial comment of, "It is a REALLY fun fantasy. I've had many fantasies along those lines, and read stories of many more", that was in response to the previous poster's final comment of, "Being found by the maid is a fun fantasy but I don't think I would want it to come true".
This goes back to "If the maid or the hotel decided to sue, and it comes out that you deliberately set yourself up to be 'caught by the maid'". Proving it would be difficult, yes, but not impossible. You do have a reasonable expectation of privacy, unless the "Maid Service" tag was left on the door, either deliberately or unintentionally. Depending on the judge, and the nature of the jurisdiction, it might just come down to circumstantial evidence--Did you do this to yourself? Was the "Maid Service" tag on the door? Was it in the middle of the day?LockedInALocker wrote:But, even in that situation where you are found by a maid: unless there are laws I'm completely ignorant of, I wouldn't still have seen legal problems - just severe embarrassment. After all, the maid entered a room without permission and little or no warning where the occupant could have had a reasonable expectation of privacy. If it was set up deliberately to be found by the maid, I don't see how anyone could prove that was the intention.boundBinder wrote:If the maid or the hotel decided to sue, and it comes out that you deliberately set yourself up to be "caught by the maid", yes. You can get into deep, hot water, legally...hence my initial comment of, "It is a REALLY fun fantasy. I've had many fantasies along those lines, and read stories of many more", that was in response to the previous poster's final comment of, "Being found by the maid is a fun fantasy but I don't think I would want it to come true".
That SHOULD be the response, if it were accidental(I won't address how I feel about someone deliberately involving someone in their kink against their will/without their knowledge--it's a sore spot to me, since I've lived it). You have to consider the maid's thought process, once he or she has time to think about it, though. If they dismiss it as just another weird consequence of working in the service industry, then no harm no foul. If they are a litigious type, someone easily "triggered", someone looking to make a quick buck, or just someone who is generally misogynist/misandrist, then the lawyers get called.LockedInALocker wrote: And I'd have thought that a rational response by the maid upon entering (without permission) and seeing the situation, would be perhaps to say, "Are you all right?" And if the person in bondage gestured that they were okay, the sensible response on the maid's part would be along the lines of, "Sorry to disturb you", and to leave.
Sexual harassment, at least in this country.LockedInALocker wrote: If that's not how it would in fact go, what am I missing about this? If the maid or hotel sued, what would the grounds be?
Yeah, but you're a good and decent person. Not everyone is.LockedInALocker wrote: If I were in that situation of unwittingly intruding on a self-bondage scene, I would have only two thoughts in my mind, neither of which would remotely make me think of legal action: 1. Is the person all right? Do they need help? 2. (after seeing that no help was needed) Embarrassment at having stumbled on an obviously private situation; I would just quietly withdraw and say nothing to anyone.
Why would anyone sue in a situation like that? I am genuinely puzzled.
Therein lies the root of the problem, it seems to me. Don't get me wrong: I am in no way approving of real sexual harassment, and, if anything, I probably have rather conservative ideas about how intimate people should get with each other in situations like at parties, in work places, and so on. But I have heard of cases of people showing misjudgement about what's appropriate in fairly small ways, and this being deemed sexual harassment, and that's really off, in my opinion. A small error of judgement should not, in most cases, amount to sexual harassment. And, in many cases, if a person is touched in a slightly overly intimate (but not truly offensive) way, surely the appropriate response is to show you don't appreciate it by your body language, or to say, "No - please don't do that" - but certainly not to sue. But maybe I am naive and out of touch with today's attitudes.boundBinder wrote:Sexual harassment laws--at least in the United States--are regularly being given a broader and broader definition,
In other words, blatant gold-digging.boundBinder wrote:[...] so it would not be outside the realm of possibility for a maid to at least TRY to litigate, once she figured out that you did it to yourself.
Yes, I have heard of such cases myself, although Ii don't know if any were in Australia or not. Completely outrageous that such cases should even have the slightest chance of winning - and totally incomprehensible how a judge could even consider making such a finding.boundBinder wrote:People have sued other people in this country for less, and won--the case of the burglar that broke into a home, tripped over something and hurt himself, and successfully sued the home owner for a large settlement. There is another case where someone was on someone else's roof to break in through the skylight, fell through said skylight, and--yes--sued and won.
How sad that that should be the norm one must assume to operate.boundBinder wrote:That SHOULD be the response, if it were accidental [...] If they are a litigious type, someone easily "triggered", someone looking to make a quick buck, or just someone who is generally misogynist/misandrist, then the lawyers get called.
Thank you for your kind thought. I suppose, since I have my own areas of kink, I think it makes me very much more sympathetic to, and understanding of, other kinds of kink, even when it's not an interest I share myself or (occasionally) may even be personally repelled by.boundBinder wrote:Yeah, but you're a good and decent person. Not everyone is.
In this country, you can never be too careful. Idiots that are "triggered" by this sort of thing are, thankfully, somewhat rare. The trouble is, that empty chamber in the pistol when you're playing Russian Roulette is ALSO rare, if you get my meaning. It only takes one "HOW DARE YOU!?! I'LL SUE!!" to cost you everything. Even if you win, the court and lawyer costs will very likely destroy you, financially.LockedInALocker wrote: Thanks for your explanation, boundBinder. I guess I sort of understand what you are saying, although it seems pretty weird to me, and it seems I severely overestimated what an action takes to be deemed sexual harassment.
^THIS. SO VERY MUCH THIS.^ Too many people are too thin-skinned, these days. When I was growing up, anyone--man or woman--that was this touchy was told to solve their problems like grownups, and not go running to the teacher to tattle. Judges would have thrown these overly-sensitive fools out of their courtrooms, IF they didn't slap them with a contempt charge for wasting the court's time.LockedInALocker wrote: I suppose it's an illustration of how super-sensitive and super-touchy and politically correct everyone is these days. I grew up at a time when this was not in the least an issue, and people had common sense, and didn't always have an eye out for suing anyone. (Also, I'm in Australia, and maybe such things are slightly less intense here, although I'm not sure.)
Therein lies the rub. Even if she's NOT in a "good position to bring action", if she gets herself a bottom-feeding "lawsuit lawyer", she can still bring suit against you, even if it has no merit, in the hopes that you'll settle out of court to save money. If it goes to trial, you're still out a large sum of money, and even if the judge rules in your favor and orders the maid or whoever to pay for all of your costs, you still have to lay out the cash up-front, and pursue them to recover the costs yourself, and--you guessed it--pay the costs and lawyer fees up-front, hoping to recover the funds.LockedInALocker wrote: But, still, I wonder: if the maid enters the room without being invited, and with almost no notice, would she be in a good position to bring action anyway? I mean, if I were in a hotel or motel room with the door locked, I would have a complete expectation of privacy, and if someone used a key to enter without knocking or waiting for permission, I don't see how that is anything other than that person's problem if they don't like what they see. (When staying in hotels or motels, I always put the "Do not disturb" sign on the outside of the door, even though I never do self-bondage in such places. I don't even like staff entering to service a room when I am not there, and prefer to do things myself. I suppose the expectation of privacy might be a bit less if you hadn't left that sign outside.)
Precisely. That, or just so triggered and angry that they are inconsolable.LockedInALocker wrote: In other words, blatant gold-digging.
This is why, back when I did a fair amount of hotel-hopping for my job, on the rare occasion that I indulged myself, I only did it in rooms with a "privacy lock" that could not be opened with the normal key, and made sure that one was locked.LockedInALocker wrote: How sad that that should be the norm one must assume to operate.
Agreed. Although that last part is somewhat of a stumbling block for me, I try to be sympathetic, considering what I've endured for my own kink. Thank you for the nice conversation.LockedInALocker wrote: Thank you for your kind thought. I suppose, since I have my own areas of kink, I think it makes me very much more sympathetic to, and understanding of, other kinds of kink, even when it's not an interest I share myself or (occasionally) may even be personally repelled by.