Stumbled upon RL friend online

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BrokeZodiac
Unfettered Newbie
Posts: 35
Joined: 01 Mar 2011, 20:44
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Stumbled upon RL friend online

Unread post by BrokeZodiac »

So the other day, I was logged onto Fetlife, and happened to come across the profile of someone I knew in person. Apparently I am no longer Facebook friends with them, but whatever. A little bit later, I came across another profile; this time of someone was still my friend as far as I knew. I sent a message and tried to not sound creepy in the way I said I knew who they were but I didn't want them to know who I was just yet. I even provided a couple things about myself that weren't unique about myself, but would greatly narrow it down from the people they knew and hopefully serve as proof that I not only knew them but was also a friend, while still remaining somewhat anonymous.

End result: they weren't comfortable. Go figure. Even still, I provided a lot more info about who I was that most people couldn't figure out who I was from that info, until they finally guessed who I was. Thankfully, they agreed to keep everything they now knew about me a secret. They even readded me on Facebook with their newer profile. So it seems as if the situation worked out alright.

Anyone else have a similar situation, whether on Fetlife or another site? Curious as to how others handle/d it.
NOTE: Avatar is not me.

Email: head_hurting@yahoo.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008246521022

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Closed_doors
Tightly Hogtied
Posts: 219
Joined: 30 Jan 2014, 22:44
Location: Brisbane Australia

Re: Stumbled upon RL friend online

Unread post by Closed_doors »

It can get awkward for sure. But, as long as both respect the other's right to privacy, I can't see a drama.

Most of us have things we'd not like to see in a public domain like the internet, but that being said, as more and more people begin exploring the 'dark side', it will come to pass that inevitably, you will encounter someone you know.

I actually deleted my fetlife account for that reason. There are far too many people who are simply there to cause dramas and trouble for other users, rather than being active in the fetish community and knowing that anonymity is paramount.

I tried following the 'known person's' posts to understand if they are genuine fetishists, but as many of you are aware, so many posts are under 5 words in length so it is extremely difficult to judge a person's sincerity. The choices become, contact them and talk out your knowledge of the other or keep shut and hope they do the same.

Carmen and I are rather fortunate that everyone who knows us knows our lifestyle so posting personal details about us isn't going to concern us a bit. Most of our friends/acquaintances aren't game to try it with us, because if they do, we go to extraordinary detail explaining what they are hinting at and that shocks the shit outa them and they never do it again.

My only advice dates back to the dawn of the internet when there was just 1 critical rule, : IF you don't wish people to know who you are or what your desires are, never give personal details out over the internet. Its a public forum and that means if you do, you are accepting the risk, however great or small that may be.
It has been said, 'Life is too Short!' but I cannot think of anything you can do longer. Anon
"Its not the man in your life but the life in your man." Mae West

Nil Illigitmus carborundum.

Mike and Carmen

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angel_uk
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Joined: 15 Oct 2005, 15:06
Location: United Kingdom
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Re: Stumbled upon RL friend online

Unread post by angel_uk »

"I know who you are, but I don't want you to know who I am" is *always* going to be creepy.

I think a friendly "Hi, fancy seeing you here, this is <me>" tends to start things off on a more positive note
Angel
https://fetlife.com/users/32029
http://www.flickr.com/photos/angieb_nu/

gramps
Unfettered Newbie
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Joined: 02 Oct 2015, 21:34

Re: Stumbled upon RL friend online

Unread post by gramps »

Shortly after I retired, I noticed the profile of a much younger woman on FL whose mother I used to work with (and I remember when she was pregnant with her!). No easy way to approach her, but I figure one of these days our paths will probably cross at a munch or local event!

TiedupGent
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Joined: 19 Jul 2015, 11:23
Location: UK South East

Re: Stumbled upon RL friend online

Unread post by TiedupGent »

This has happened to me. I stumbled upon a collaeagues profile in another fetish site. The location, physical description and turn of phrase all came together to help me identify this person. No biggee as far as I am concerned. It's a shame we cannot all be more open about our bondage passions in vanilla life. It's just another hobby...

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