Soft or hard?

Dom/me, sub, swtich or undecided? Bring your kinky ideas in here!
Carto78
Unfettered Newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: 05 Aug 2018, 09:23
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Soft or hard?

Unread post by Carto78 »

Hey guys,

usually you prefer a "hard" bondage or a "soft" one? I mean by this if you are more into a sort of make believe, so all kind of action that don't cause real pain (or at least not so strong) or if you need to feel a pain and that a mark of it be left on your body? moreover, I like just the soft one, so do you think that I might be considered a slave nevertheless?

One Pivot
Chair Bound
Posts: 67
Joined: 31 Aug 2016, 01:05

Re: Soft or hard?

Unread post by One Pivot »

There's no qualifier for being a slave. If that's what you like, you're set!

I'm a Dom and I'm not really into playing softly, but that's between me and mine.
See my handmade leather bondage gear here! https://www.etsy.com/shop/leatherbyonepivot

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Ass_Whiplash
Hopelessly Suspended
Posts: 1250
Joined: 08 Jun 2007, 14:54
Location: Canada

Re: Soft or hard?

Unread post by Ass_Whiplash »

I like things real.

I am not a masochist (most of the time) - I don't particularly enjoy pain for pain's sake.

What I do like is what pain does to me. I like certain kinds and levels of sensation, some of which could be described as pain. I like having pain used as a tool, to discipline me when I've done wrong. I like the endorphins that come with heavy painful play and the space I'm in during and after. I like being forced to give into pain, to submit to it, to cry from it, to beg for more of it.

I can't do any of that with "soft" play or by roleplaying and doing the motions of painful play without actual pain.
Male slave in Victoria, BC - collared, in chastity, and married to my Magnificent Mistress.

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Ass_Whiplash
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Joined: 08 Jun 2007, 14:54
Location: Canada

Re: Soft or hard?

Unread post by Ass_Whiplash »

It suddenly won't let me edit that post but I realized I didn't actually answer your question - can you be a slave even though you only like it softer?

I think the answer is yes. Just like every other Master/Mistress-slave dynamic, you need your likes, dislikes, kinks, and limits to match up fairly well, but being a slave is about submitting to your Master/Mistress's will, not about how much pain you can take.

I would say you wouldn't have a good time if you tried to be slave to a Master/Mistress who wanted to play very hard because then they'd want to do more than you could handle, so you just need to find the right match.
Male slave in Victoria, BC - collared, in chastity, and married to my Magnificent Mistress.

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Cd Tammy
Tightly Hogtied
Posts: 173
Joined: 31 May 2007, 11:57

Re: Soft or hard?

Unread post by Cd Tammy »

I want to truly be helpless when in bondage. Often a position that starts out comfortable gets painful over time. That’s part of being helpless. If I scripted everything, that would be topping from the bottom.

Stahlketten
Strict Strappado
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Joined: 19 Jun 2012, 04:12

Re: Soft or hard?

Unread post by Stahlketten »

There is obviously more than one interpretation to "Soft or hard?"
When I first saw this thread, I was thinking that it was discussion of preference for strict or loose bondage.
Some people like nothing more serious than buckled leather cuffs while others like the feeling of being locked in metal restraints with no hope of getting free.
The discussion seems to be more about Pain or No Pain inflicted during a play session. My own preference is for no pain for its own sake though it may be a part of the scenario or an unavoidable effect of being strictly restrained or a means of coercing the prisoner to follow the Jailer's orders.

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dsteve
Tightly Hogtied
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Joined: 27 May 2016, 20:50
Location: Colorado, USA

Re: Soft or hard?

Unread post by dsteve »

Yes, you can still be called a "slave".
I, too, do not like pain for the sake of pain. But, when playing master/slave the slave must obey. If not, punishment must be swift and effective. Once or twice with the riding crop to let the slave know I mean business is all it takes. After that just the sight of the whip or a gentle tap is all that is required.
Whatever you like is ok.
dSteve

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